Leadership development is an important element of any organization, including the church. And it’s a hot topic, isn’t it? In fact, I don’t know of any friend or co-worker in ministry that doesn’t have some sort of personal or professional leadership development issue on his or her strategic plan this year. My simple definition of leadership development is a concentrated effort to improve the abilities and attitudes it takes to set direction and get others to follow.

So what is “love development”? I think it is improving the abilities and attitudes it takes to love—a critical element of externally focused ministry. Do we really need to develop it, you ask? To be perfectly honest, I think love development is more important than leadership development because if we aren’t careful, we can program love right out of our externally focused ministries. Sounds absurd, but it happens.

We can feed people, but not share a meal with them. We can give clothes, but not dress them. We can bandage the wound, but not hug the pain away. We can paint classrooms, but never look into the eyes of the child who sees that room as the only safe place in his life. Paul warns us about the danger of neglecting love: “If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:3).

Removing or simply forgetting love doesn’t happen on purpose. It’s not malicious. It happens while you’re not looking. Sometimes we have started moving in the direction of serving but haven’t grown to deeper love. In my personal life, the lack of love creeps in when I’m busy or disconnected.

I’ve committed to picking up my children from school every day this year instead of having them ride home on the bus. For the record, I rode the public school bus for 11 years and did not feel unloved. But picking up my children at school is something I can do that makes them feel loved—or at least it can. On the days when multitasking overwhelms me and I pick them up without greeting them or listening to their day, they don’t feel my love. They’d rather be on the bus.

In our externally focused ministries, busyness can also creep in. By getting more projects accomplished, it can appear we are serving more people—but are we loving them? We can get the urge to grow wider when maybe we should consider growing deeper. A lot of congregations have annual great days of service where they accomplish numerous maintenance projects in public schools in one day. Growing that event wider would be to add another school. Growing it deeper could be asking those who painted in a particular classroom to adopt the class, perhaps by praying for the teacher and mentoring the children.

Matthew 5:43-44: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Jack Jezreel, executive director of Just Faith (www.justfaith.org), has dedicated much of his life to helping congregations grow deeper in their understanding of love and justice. In his work with churches across the country, he teaches about agape and philia love. At a workshop I attended he said, “Based on the agape love described in Matthew 5:43 and 44, God has loved Mother Teresa and Adolf Hitler the same. God’s love does not get extended based upon pre-existing conditions. There doesn’t have to be something in place for God to love us. It is given. God’s love is vast, expansive, and boundary-less. Philia love is the love of your own group, gang, and tribe. Jesus had a very low regard for this kind of love. He said that even the tax gatherers loved others in this way. The mafia and even terrorists love each other in this way. We define who our people are and who they are not. Philia without agape is the love of the Hatfields for the Hatfields. Agape is love of Hatfields and the McCoys.”

What if part of what it means to be an externally focused church meant moving people in your church from a small philia love to the great agape love? Admittedly, growing deeper is harder, but growing people’s hearts and capacity to love is essential work for every leader. Jezreel says, “Sometimes the church is guilty of the tyranny of small expectations. You want people to be loving and serving others in a place where they would not have loved just one year before.”

Most externally focused churches can tell you about how many projects they accomplished and how many people from their church served in the community last year. What if we actually tracked the love development? That sounds exciting to me. Can you just imagine what that kind of congregational survey might look like?

Describe how your ability to show love has grown over the last three years: I was on the homeless kitchen remodeling team for Great Day of Service 2006. I served lunch at the homeless shelter once a month with my small group in 2007. This year, I am meeting Bob once a week for lunch, encouragement, and mentoring. Bob’s homeless.

Next month, I’ll finish this idea of love development and being too disconnected to love. But right now, I have go pick up my kids.

“I just want to say 'Congrats' and especially 'Thank you!!!' I love The Inside Track and Tuesday’s Tip. Keep building the kingdom!”

— Linda Sjerven,
     Manchester, MO